that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
