What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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