what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize