she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
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