i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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