So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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