i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize