we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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