My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
