you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
