...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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