if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
