The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize
