we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
