I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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