Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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