we made out on top of his cat.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
