I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
