Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
