Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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