Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
