I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize