It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
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