I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
i think my cat just said my name.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
