If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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