hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm like, not good at living.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
