She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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