Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Randomize
