This is not my ceiling
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
