I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
