so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
