see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
