So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize