Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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