I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
