You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
