OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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