never play flip cup with pint glasses
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
