White coat. Heels.
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
