i jhust puked up my retainher.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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