physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
They took my balls.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
