therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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