apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
you will always have a special place in my vag
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
