Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
