it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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