She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
They have beer where we have blood.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize