I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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