What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
