You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
