mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
