you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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