She's JV to your varsity
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
