Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
