So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
we're so committed to being not committed
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
