Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
