Cold hands, warm shart.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
