I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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