we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
