He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
