that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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